What are your hobbies then?

I often get asked this and sometimes it really has stumped me. The reason it stumps me is that my energies are mostly taken up working and surviving.

I work to earn money so I can afford nice things in my life. My pride and joy is my MacBook Pro with retina screen display. Recently I needed it repaired and it was out of my life for almost a week and a half. When I look at this, I feel that my MacBook pro is actually a hobby in its own right. I certainly invested in it emotionally at that time and still do right now.

So does a hobby have to be something traditionally a hobby, or can possession be a hobby? If you are really into your partner, can they be your hobby as well as your partner? If you are investing everything you have in them, and getting pleasure from it, isn’t that a hobby? In the same way as sailing, exercising or collecting stamps?

At the end of the day if it makes you happy then I suppose it’s a hobby? Although on the other side of that coin, I eat too much and though I feel good at the time, it makes me feel bad afterwards. And I have set over it, so although I invest in it as a hobby in some ways, it certainly isn’t a hobby even though it has pleasurable aspects to it, both in terms of eating and when that way comes.

Anyway, I’m sure you’re bored with hearing about my problems in that respect the now. I need to get some sleep as it’s been a long and tiring week this week. There’s been lots to do at work and I basically been on a computer screen for a lot of time. So sitting here on my MacBook Pro just for the sake of it, typing stuff to put on a blog but I don’t think anybody will ever read, is probably not the best use of my time. But then going back to the hobby thing, how many hobbies are not the best use of your time?

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Obsessed food junkie writes from the edge

The current topic existed in my head for a long time. We could talk about it. Or just keep our opinion shut. But we must face it: Fashion dictates freaking too much! Act like this, look like that, never eat these, only smoke those. So many affections of that were already discussed. Models fainting right during runway shows, anorexia among young girls, people wasting their lifetime on depression. Depression that drinks and eats you alive.

When we say that It’s not normal for a nineteen year old being 180cm tall and not even reaching 50 damn kilos, the skinny-dead haters scream“Okay, so we should promote diabetes then!”

But I’m not trying to legitimize obesity, okay

Guys, that is another end of the problem that should not be supported as well.

I’m not here to lie, saying that plus- size fashion is so deep and conceptually modern and so on. Because it’s not. Sometimes that fight against anorexia brings new super unhealthy trends like “I’m plus size and I’m proud of my body” movements.

Being medically obese is just as dangerous as being too skinny.

But The thing is I can totally agree that, despite all the drama about that, clothes look better on slim builds. And that’s it. But when they say that a girl wearing XS is not skinny enough to model, it’s like “Whaaat”!?

Wow I’m rambling a bit here aren’t I. I’m hoping you can see what I’m trying to say to you.

The keys on my MacBook Pro are red-hot and my eyes have burnt black holes into my amazing retina screen, recently replaced, and I think it’s all gone to my head.

If utterly changed topic and tell you about my MacBook a bit more. It keeps me sane. I know that sounds insane to say that, but it does. By focusing my pleasure on it it distracts me from the bigger problems in my life, and when I use it I feel creative and free. This is why I was so utterly upset when I cracked the screen and had to send it away for repair recently. It’s only the 13 inch model, but it was still traumatic getting a retina screen replacement sorted out.

Anyway, it’s time to finish now I’m just say that I hope you understand what I mean trying to say here. Every day on the tube I see pictures of models, male and female, telling us without saying a thing, how we should be. How we should look, how we should act, all written into photos we absorb through very poor filters. It cannot go on like this.

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Overcoming the F word forever

Whether you are male or female most of us in the modern Western world suffer from worrying about the F word far too much. Whether we are saying trust self or we hear it from someone else, it can cause us huge emotional upset and embarrassment. And I’m not talking about the F word you think I’m talking about.

I am talking about the word fat.

Let’s be honest, sometimes in life you feel like we can’t win and even if we are truly lamenting changes and coaching ourselves every single day it is often such a hard battle that we give up.

So how do we change this for the better and make more of us happy?

By the way, I’m typing this on my fully working MacBook Pro Retina wonder toy. It had its screen repaired (read the story here and here)and it’s working great.

I think I have to say that the F word is an addiction. It’s an addiction in terms of people living its and it’s an addiction for people to say it. We are addicted to it in our society. Wherever you look the F word is there, whether it’s hidden among skinny people on advertising posters, or on the television talking about food, wherever it is that F word is everywhere and it’s in people’s minds, if not coming out of their mouths.

Anyway, you have a think about how you use the F word in your life. Whether you are living with it, or looking around at people and thinking, you have to think about the implications it has on the souls of those people.

I’m going to bet that unless you are completely heartless, that you must understand how difficult it can be for people to deal with such emotions every single day of our lives. While still trying to deal with the everyday problems that most of us have, whether it’s simple things like being out in the rain without an umbrella, having a car breakdown or something more serious like being told we have a serious illness.

I actually think that when we talk about the F word, we are talking about people having a serious illness. I think that’s something we all need to take into account and before we start thinking it when we see somebody in the street, we should just have a little think about how they are feeling.

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Sharing my weight problems with nobody in particular

I mentioned before in an earlier post about how I have always suffered with weight problems. I think I’ve actually suffered with them since birth and it’s been a problem for me.

Thankfully life distracts me most the time. I love technology. I love my MacBook pro for example and I love my mobile phone, and I love everything like that.

But I do have a nagging problem that things are going great.

But I am truly trying to increment changes right now I coach myself every single day on what to do for the best. It is really surreal to say to myself that I am proud of myself for doing something as small as not eating, or not spending money on something. I’m hoping that I share my story here I can hopefully reach out release one person and help them as well.

But if nobody does read this, at least I have got this off my chest and help myself just a little bit more. I share my story because it can happen if somebody reads it. If this can be the spark for somebody else, then I will be incredibly proud. in my

In other news, I’ve had a really good day at work and I had a call from the specialist repair shop that I contacted in my previous blog post to say that they had the part in stock. They have said they can send me a box to put my laptop in and then ship it back to them. I have taken this option because I just want to get this screen problem behind me and get on with using my MacBook as it was intended.

So I am down because of my weight and also positive because of the steps forward I’m taking in losing it. So on balance, I think I have to conclude that with five being neutral, one being bad and 10 being great, today is edging up to a 7/10. And that’s really great news to me as there have been plenty of days where I have been down in the 1,2 and 3 area.

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Smashed Macbook screen to get upset about

Over the past six months I have felt that I have surrounded myself with positive people and attempted to have a positive outlook on life. I’m really enjoying my job and I’m really enjoying the prospects I now have, compared to where I was a year ago.

My weight is my big issue. It does affect me emotionally and socially. I do not go out as much when I am feeling heavy as I do when I’m feeling good about myself. I do often wonder if that is the case with a lot of people, or if its a problem particular to me. My parents were both heavyset, okay let’s tell it like it is they were fat, and they didn’t seem to suffer any social anxiety problems.

But I’m beginning to think that the weight they put on was after they met, and they support each other, it’s far easier to go out if you have somebody alongside you who love you regardless and support you in that situation. If you are single like I am, then it can be a lot more daunting and I wonder how my parents would act if they were on their own now.

Today’s been a good day for food and a good day at work. My problems started when I got home from work. I was in a rush and I had my MacBook open on the kitchen table. I am putting some skirting on around the place and I picked up a loose bit and move backwards with it and it hit the screen of the MacBook cracking it right along it.

I did a search on Google for MacBook Pro retina 13 screen replacement in my local area and was pretty disappointed at what came up in terms of options. I don’t live in the city so it’s going to be a trek.

I rang a couple of places asking about MacBook Pro retina screen replacement parts and they both said they could do it, but it would have to order the parts. It then means a trip into the city, then the time to fix it and then a trip out again to pick it up. I suppose the alternative is to send it away to a specialist repairer, and I did find a seemingly good screen repair shop. They had the parts in stock and I wouldn’t have to go out to the city to get it repaired. We will see what I end up doing.

As I’m typing this on my MacBook right now, you can see that it’s not a massive issue, other than a few words are obscure. But if you going to spend that much hard earned money on something nice and you want to make sure that it looks nice.

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A little bit about me and my life to begin

I suppose the thing I need to say first of all is that I really struggle with my weight. I always have and I’m going to talk about it right here.

In fact, the reason for me starting this blog is because I’m very keen to pin myself down to trying to make myself more healthy. Something I have failed to do in almost 10 years of misery. You would think that if you are unhappy with something you will change it, but the mind is an amazing thing and it’s amazing in its selfish nastiness as well, where it will rip out your soul and leave your body ravaged just to satisfy the cravings and needs it has for itself.

I ate really badly at school and that continued after school. I do make healthy choices and occasionally I will go to the gym. Sometimes I go out for long walks and sometimes I go running. So it’s not all bad, but the weight just keeps piling on. The problem is that although I take two steps forward, I always take one step back, and I’ve already wasted a lot of the journey.

When I got a new job last year I gained a bit of self worth. I started to believe in myself and that motivated me to start looking after myself physically and emotionally, better than I had done the years.

The other key thing that did was to gain organization in my mind. Being organized goes a very, very long way in completing a journey through weight loss. I learned to coach myself emotionally and tell myself that I can do it. Every accomplishment became great.

But, there was always a danger of a lapse through the evil of my brain letting me down.

So that’s who I am and where I am right now my life. I am happy, but as you can see I do have issues with things that I want to change significantly. Part of the reason I started this blog is to pin myself down to my journey on weight loss, but also to talk about other things which interest me, other problems I have and passions I have, such as technology, for example I can’t live without my MacBook and my iPhone, I’m a bit of an Apple fan person to give it the nonsexist parlance.

If you happen to find this blog, I hope you find something of interest in it.

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